This week’s highlight of the week features one of the coolest catches I’ve seen and a leading contender for catch of the year in 2023, featuring Garrett Wilson on Monday Night Football.
Week 1 High Scorer: Pool of the Dead (140.3)
1.) Pool of the Dead
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 140.3
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: It was a juggernaut performance as this squad rolled out the number one receiver and number one defense in Week 1 with monster performances. Tyreek Hill looked absolutely unstoppable and poised for the first 2000 yard season.
2.) Gandalf the Goat
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 92.0
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: The long awaited Brandon Aiyuk breakout season may well be in effect after a great two touchdown game in Pittsburgh. The Goat may have found some gems in running back with both Cook and Hall looking like the real deal with strong roles in productive offenses.
3.) Uur UPS
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 65.4
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: After suffering yet another terrible lucky season ending injury so early in the season, UPS rallied with a strong game from the Jet’s defense. With two backup quarterbacks on the roster, it seems like Love is in the air.
4.) Philippines Garbage Dumps
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 57.5
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: The PGD survived a trash performance from star quarterback Lamar Jackson but were salvaged by strong performances from the receiving duo of Justin Jefferson and Devonta Smith. Expect Jackson to rebound with the return of Mark Andrews.
5.) Mahomies Deezflated Nuts
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 91.0
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: Aaron Jones’ hamstring will be the big focus for this week after a strong outing in Week 1 launching MD Nuts to a dominant win. Keenan Allen is too talented to ride the bench much longer and should be incorporated into this offense sooner rather than later.
6.) Korriban Warriors
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 89.6
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: Handcuffing yourself to all of the Chargers offense was a sound strategy in Week 1 as the Chargers players strived in a shootout against the Dolphins. Austin Ekeler is dealing with an ankle injury and will be another key injury to monitor going into Week 2.
7.) Da Moon’s Huge Craters
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 52.0
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: The Craters survived a low scoring slugfest in Week 1 without Travis Kelce. Kelce is projected to return from a mild bone bruise and will inject a lot of life into this offense.
8.) Lin Sanity
Overall Record: 1-0
Divisional Record: 1-0
Total Points Scored: 44.2
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: Despite suffering terrible performances from the receivers, Lin Sanity won another low scoring divisional game on the back of Mr. Unlimited Russell Wilson. Similar to the Craters, the return of an elite tight end will elevate this offense significantly in Mark Andrews.
9.) SLAM BALL 2K23
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 78.8
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: Imagine spending the #7 pick on the most electrifying running back prospect in a decade to watch him get outscored by his running back teammate on the bench.
10.) Isla Sorna Raptors
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 67.2
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: The running back duo of McCaffrey and Etienne make this team very dangerous. You can’t expect Justin Fields to be bottled up for 10 fantasy points again this season, so this is a team that I think will trend upwards in the upcoming weeks.
11.) No Diggity…About to Bag it Up
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 65.9
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: Diggs out for Harambe. Despite a brutal week 1 for the Buffalo offense, Stefon Diggs was the lone bright spot in a dominant 10 catch, 100-yard touchdown game against one of the league’s top cornerbacks. When Joe Burrow finds his groove, this team should rebound nicely.
12.) Elk Grove Spartans
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 54.0
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: It was a tough week 1 after learning star wideout Cooper Kupp will be on the IR for a minimum of four games. As the Spartans scramble to find replacements, they will lean heavily on their run game of Josh Jacobs and Mile Sanders to keep this team on track.
13.) Jedi Knights
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 52.6
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: The Jedi Knights have committed a league high five roster spots to the Indianapolis Colts, four to the run game (yes I am counting Anthony Richardson). As they try to navigate that running game, the real gem of this team is Tua Tagovailoa, who if can remain healthy, is poised for an MVP-esque career season.
14.) Doctor Jenious
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 48.4
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: It was an uncharacteristic slow week for the Eagles offense which hurt this team that relies on the Hurts-Brown connection. Maybe it was a tough defensive matchup in Week 1, but that connection should solidify in the upcoming matchups to lift this team up.
15.) Bruce Almighty’s
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 53.5
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: It might be a long time until we see another Josh Allen game this bad with four turnovers and a negative score. When you invest your first round pick in an elite QB, it often comes down to being carried hard by that position and any down week will be catastrophic as it was in Week 1.
16.) Sacramento Wolf Pack
Overall Record: 0-1
Divisional Record: 0-1
Total Points Scored: 42.6
Position Last Week: N/A
Notes: The Wolfpack could get nothing going from anyone outside of their running backs in Week 1. The good thing is the elite running back duo of Henry and Pollard looked as good as advertised and I do not see this team at the bottom of the rankings for long.
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